Constance Hall

I spotted these two books on my friends shelf written by Constance Hall. I had seen one or two of her Facebook posts shared and really liked what she had to say. So I asked could I borrow them. She said yes but made sure I would give them back because she had bought them directly from Australia because they’re not available here yet. So I’m on minding duty of them.

I’d taken some books out from the library so told her it would be a few weeks before I’d even start reading them, but when I got home I just had a look at the first few pages to see what it was like. Ended up half way through the first book before bed time!

Wow, she is brilliant. So down to earth and straight talking, absolutely love her. She is all about empowering yourself, and other women (and not in a men-bashing way) and about how the Universe helps us and teaches us lessons, and just so positive, while keeping it real. Amazing.

I went to bed saying “I am a Queen” to myself, and woke up saying the same – and got out on the treadmill before the school run.

One of my main things about life and motherhood these days is that the world is full of Facebook, Instagram and Social Media posts of how wonderful other people are doing – the highlights reel of their lives online – and it makes people who are having a crap time of it feel worse. This woman lays it out there, perfectly. She has a way of writing too, that its so readable and relatable. I think its how I’d like to write, but I get a bit bogged up in how things come across in text that I end up going in circles. But parenting is bloody hard, we need to cut ourselves slack, and we need to stop just showing off the good bits and hiding the crap.

I’ve been trying to do this for the last few years, without sounding negative! We had a tough time getting a second baby, took a while trying to concieve and then had a loss and an ectopic pregnancy before finally getting a pregnancy that stuck and we got our little boy, my second child. While going through it, I couldn’t tell anyone, couldn’t talk about it, couldn’t face anyone knowing anything about it while I was so uncertain whether I would get a second baby myself. One of my best friends only found out as she was calling to my house and when she called I was in hospital after my surgery for the removal of the ectopic pregnancy and fallopian tube so I had to tell her she couldn’t call, because I was in hospital. After I got my second child, I could talk about it all. I had had such a fear that I wouldn’t have a second child. Once I had him, I had no problem talking about the journey to get him. People always comment on my appearingly well timed gaps between my kids (all 3.5yr-nearly 4yrs apart), and I will always say “well that’s what we got, I would have loved smaller gaps but this is what we got”. I also tried for a smaller gap between no.2 and no.3, and again a year of trying before we got a successful pregnancy (with another miscarriage during that year).

That was a complete veer off topic, but the point is when I was going through it, I couldn’t talk about it. I didn’t know how many others were going through it. Same as when you have a new baby, its all new – no matter how many you have – and its hard. So fricking hard. And as a mother, a parent, it can be so hard. And there are great wonderful times, and there are shit-hard times, but people only show their “highlights reel” – and so when you’re going through your shit-hard times you feel you’re the only one.  And this book by Constance Hall that I’ve started reading lays it out there. And it reminds you how much of a kick-ass woman you are – A Queen! And how you need to remind yourself of that, and you need to build up other woman around you. I am loving it.

Build each other up! Be a Queen!