Confidence Breeds Confidence

Is that the quote? I’m not sure if it is the correct quote, but it is close enough to what I’m trying to say.

Another way would be to – Feel The Fear – and Do It Anyway!

A year ago I was looking up Yoga Teacher Training courses, not thinking I was anywhere close to doing one. They were expensive, they were time consuming – and they all seemed to expect a higher standard of Yoga than I was at. It wasn’t the first time I had looked up courses, this is something that has been at the back of my mind for years. I didn’t want to teach Yoga, I just wanted to immerse myself in the Yoga world, learn more about it and bring more of the “vibe” into my life.

Last September, after looking at my goals with a life coach, I realised I wanted to prioritise Yoga in my life more, and again started looking at courses. Which were prohibitively expensive initially, and then had the added cost of the weekends diesel, parking and lunches. I just thought it was a no-go. Until one day, a Facebook ad popped up with an offer that looked too good to be true. I clicked through, it was an Irish person, it was online, and there was a short term discount price on the course which was still pricey, but actually achievable, particularly when you took out the travel costs of each weekend. I actually thought to myself, no this has to be too good to be true, but the woman had a “schedule a call” button to see if it was a good fit, and for the first time in my life I pressed through, and actually scheduled a call for that afternoon. And then spent an hour google-ing the Yoga studio and the teacher to find all I could that tied it in to being a genuine company and offer.

That afternoon I had a long chat with this wonderful woman, the Yoga teacher trainer, and I told her I thought it sounded too good to be true, and that I was a little bit paranoid. There were some tech issues so it meant it was a voice call not a video call, and towards the end of the call she made sure to get in to the video call part especially to ease my worries. She made me feel completely confident in her, and in my own abilities (even as a plus size woman, who wasn’t as flexible or strong). And so I signed up for the next training starting in the new year.

I actually didn’t tell very many people about it ahead of time, because firstly I was still slightly worried it was a scam, but mostly because I was worried how I would be on the course – whether I would be embarrassed at my size, or left behind because I couldn’t do any of the more complex poses, or what the other students would think of me and my lack of yogic ability lol, and I didn’t want other people looking at me, and judging me for thinking I could be a Yoga teacher. I most definitely don’t fit the typical aesthetic of what a Yoga teacher is normally shown as, and thought that it was almost laughable that I was doing the training.

From the moment I started the course I loved it.

Yes the whole atmosphere and attitude of the teacher and the other students was so welcoming and encouraging, but also the information we were learning was fascinating and new and I realised that I could retain information. I was able to remember, and talk about, and learn all these new things. Yoga philosophy is a topic that I knew nothing about, and I think all philosophy is hard to get your head around and there was so much information, but I listened and asked questions and learnt so much. The same then with anatomy, I have always had a mind-blank regards muscles and bones, and the differences and locations, however I was allowed all my “stupid questions” and I understood it!

What this Yoga teacher training has done for me is far far more than qualifying me to be a Yoga teacher. It has given me a whole new confidence in myself. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, and I signed up to something I didn’t know if I was able to do – and then I worked hard, and I was able to do it. I showed up for myself time after time, and today I had my hour long teaching exam and I did really well. I know so much about Yoga, I can practice it, I can teach it, I can discuss the basic Yoga philosophies, I know very basic anatomy of bones, muscles, ligaments and tendons, I can plan and sequence classes and I know loads about the background technicalities of different teaching methods, and just on and on.

Two years ago, before I started working with my life coach I had worked out a kind of five to ten year study plan, with smaller qualifications building up knowledge and confidence so that I would feel able to push myself out of my comfort zone and go for this ideal job idea I had in my head, and do the course to get me that role. I didn’t feel that I was “enough” as I was to go for the course, without having done all this background work to build up my worth and knowledge I suppose.

Last year when I started with my life coach and we started working on my goals, I didn’t even mention the big dream job. I knew that I was starting from a very “low” point, and I thought to even mention that would be ridiculous really, so it didn’t come up for a few weeks. It was only at one stage I mentioned it in passing, and she of course realised and pointed it out – and said there we go – that’s the big audacious goal – and I suppose I admitted that it actually was, to her, and to me.

There is a course that I’ve been looking at for the last few years, which basically would jump me into being qualified for this job. I’ve had my eye on a few courses, I’ve loads of interests and often I go down rabbit holes of what I’ll study “when I’m ready to go back and study” and so this course for the dream job has been one I’ve gone back to plenty of times. But I can tell it is going to be a lot of work, and of course my insecurities always jump up and in the way.

With the Yoga, when I started I had no intentions of ever teaching it. I was doing it for me, for my mental and physical health, for my interest only. However now I actually think I’d love to give teaching it a go, whether it turns into an income or not is a different thing. But now that this course is coming to an end, I was looking at what the next course I was going to do was, looking at the next step up in it was – the more hours, more intensive course and was talking to my husband about it and he asked is this what you want to work in and I said no, you know I want to do “dream job” – and he said, so why don’t you do the course for that?

So I was back looking down the rabbit hole of courses again, and I actually reached out for advice from someone working in this area to see what courses they had taken. Then I was talking to a friend about the future, hers and mine, and turns out we both had this same course on our list. We started looking into the details and going further into the rabbit hole of what it required, when it was on, etc. I had the class timetables out and my diary and I was comparing the dates and seeing whether anything would clash with the training weekends!

I realised that yes it was going to be a lot of work, yes it was a commitment but that I have just completed my Yoga training and I put in the time, I put in the effort and the work – and I remembered and learnt so much, and that actually I am highly capable of learning. I’m feeling hugely confident in myself at the moment, because at the start of the course I couldn’t teach a five minute class and now I’ve taught an hour long class, and I know all the poses, the cue-ing, the philosophy and stories that go with so much of it. Knowing this, gave and gives me so much confidence in myself, and my abilities. I can do hard things.

So I’m going to push myself out of my comfort zone, and move towards the big audacious goal!

I most definitely did not think a year ago that I would have been pushing myself out of my comfort zone like this. My life coach gave me so much confidence in the first place to even have applied for the Yoga course, and the doing and achieving has given me the confidence in myself that I can do it, that I can show up for myself.

So maybe start with a smaller goal and win at that to build confidence – or jump straight in to that big audacious goal, and know that if you put in the time and effort, you can achieve it. Confidence breeds confidence!